


A Place to Belong

by VirginiasWolf



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: I Didn't Even Ask For This, I know nobody asked for this, I'm Sorry, Multi, Suicide Attempt, this is really angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 00:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18906058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirginiasWolf/pseuds/VirginiasWolf
Summary: A drastic act and the aftermath.





	A Place to Belong

**Author's Note:**

> Note one: At risk of further sounding angsty with an addition of preachy, I'm begging you guys to please get help if you ever feel suicidal. I've lost people to suicide and years later it still hurts not having them here.
> 
> Note two: This was inspired by a horrible, terrible dream I had where Flynn found Moriarty in the aftermath of a suicide attempt. The method and Moriarty's words when Flynn asks why are pulled directly from the dream. Also this takes place about a month or two into a romantic relationship between Moriarty, Flynn and Eve when Moriarty is still working through the emotional trauma left by Prospero and half convinced that Flynn and Eve still see him as a villain and therefore don't actually want him in their lives.

The decision comes impulsively after he sees the knife lying on the counter of the kitchen in the annex. That's why he doesn't leave a note. After all, maybe it's better if Flynn and Eve don't know that he chose to take the coward's way out so that they wouldn't have a chance to grow tired of him and discard him on their own. There won't be a body to find anyway if the last time he died is any indication.  
Alone in the bathroom, he strips down to only his pants. Somehow the thought of seeing blood on white sleeves is worse than the thought of actually trying to kill himself. For a moment he hesitates, wondering if this is what he really wants. Is this the way for the James Moriarty to go out, by his own hand? Yes, it is. Whatever is going on now is bound to end with him realizing that he loves Flynn and Eve more than they ever loved him, and it's only fair that he staves off the broken heart.  
The first cut is the hardest. He's vowed to open the vein up the long way so that he's more likely to bleed out, but every fiber in his body cries out in protest and hot tears begin to sting his eyes. Not to mention the blood is black, which almost shocks him until he remembers he has never been human. The second cut is both easier and harder. By now the arm he's already opened up is shaking from the shock of the cut, and his second wound is uneven and sloppy, but at least this time he's prepared for the pain.  
The only thing left to do is wait to find out if he really can die, and that is exactly what he is prepared to do, sobbing quietly like some wounded beast when the bathroom door suddenly bursts open.  
He expects disgust when Flynn's eyes meet his because disgust is exactly what this act would have garnered him from Prospero, but instead, the librarian moves quickly into the room repeating "No! No! No! No!" Within seconds Flynn is in front of him, kneeling at his level. "What did you-? No, I know exactly what you did, but why?"  
In the sudden shock both from the librarian's reaction and from the effect of the blood loss, all James can manage is "I wanted to see if I could."  
-  
The next time he wakes up, he is lying on their bed. Flynn is in the room with him, sitting almost rigidly in a large chair and Eve is perched on a corner of the bed. Both are watching him intently, and he realizes with some guilt that both seem to have been crying.  
The moment he attempts to sit up, Eve darts forward, quickly adjusting the pillow beneath his head. "You need to build your strength up." After a minute she pulls back, looking as if she's uncertain how to react to him in this state. "If there was something bothering you, you should have come to us first."  
There's something so genuine in her voice that he isn't sure how to tell her that he tried to kill himself out of fear that she and Flynn would grow tired of his presence. Right now they aren't tired of him, they're scared. Scared of how close they came to losing him he realizes. "I guess I'm not very good with having a place to belong."


End file.
